


so try and like vertigo

by autisticlalna (mathonwys)



Series: DSMP-2 AU [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: (as tends to be common when i write karl lmao sorry), DSMP-2 AU, First Meetings, Gen, Karl Jacobs is an Interdimensional Being, Karl Jacobs-centric, Kinoko Kingdom on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Memory Loss, Not RPF, Self-Insert, Time Travelling Karl Jacobs, i swear ill find a way to make it more than just a side detail at some point, in which a self-insert oc gets adopted by the fiances, no beta we die like wilbur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mathonwys/pseuds/autisticlalna
Summary: He kicked the trapdoor back into place as soon as he was out, turned around, and froze. There, asleep on a crafting table Sapnap had lugged inside, was a total stranger.There was only a very short pause between Karl closing the trapdoor and him shouting “Who the honk are you?!” at the top of his lungs.-Karl Jacobs accidentally adopts a catboy.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap (background)
Series: DSMP-2 AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2204193
Kudos: 5





	so try and like vertigo

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly do not expect anyone besides my friends to read this and i am 100% fine with that
> 
> it kinda seems to be like, a hallmark of me getting heavy into a fandom where EVENTUALLY i make a self-insert. usually just for me to doodle alongside my favourite characters, but sometimes i write stuff! this is one of those "sometimes".  
> the 77-2 discord accidentally created an entire AU that's basically "what if we were on the Dream SMP", so here's me throwing my hat into the ring! two hats. i have two self-inserts for the AU, this fic just focuses on the one i usually don't... use. for some reason. huh.
> 
> artwork of Landia, for everyone's convenience: https://autisticlalna.tumblr.com/post/643932888863227904/

Karl closed the book with a _snap_. His shoulders sagged as he let out a sigh; it took more effort than usual for him to trudge over to the bookshelves and slot the newest diary entry in place among the others. _Just a little more,_ he thought. He was close to finding answers, he was sure of it. He just needed to keep traveling.

Sapnap and Quackity must be worried about him. He didn’t know exactly how long he’d been gone; time had been passing somewhat erratically on the SMP, even without the time travel, and what he thought might’ve only taken a couple days had apparently been weeks to others. Karl shook those thoughts aside as he climbed up the ladder leading out of the hidden library. He’d find a way to make it up to them.

He kicked the trapdoor back into place as soon as he was out, turned around, and froze. There, asleep on a crafting table Sapnap had lugged inside, was a total stranger. They couldn’tve been older than 16, with fluffy brown hair and sun-tanned skin; even with his fading memory, Karl was pretty sure he’d recognize them if he’d met them before, but nothing was coming to mind. Their outfit was pretty basic: just an orange raglan under a black denim jacket, and overly-baggy sweatpants accented in an eye-catching yellow. No shoes, apparently. 

Their leg twitched in their sleep, and Karl’s eyes caught the unmistakable brown feline tail loosely wrapped around it. Oh, great, a furry. Not only that, a catboy— Hbomb had competition.

This entire analysis took about 3 seconds. As a result, there was only a very short pause between Karl closing the trapdoor and him shouting “ ** _Who the honk are you?!_** ” at the top of his lungs.

The stranger yelped in shock as they jolted awake. Their mismatched blue-and-orange eyes flashed yellow for a moment as they looked up at Karl, and then they toppled off the crafting bench. Karl winced in sympathy as they crashed to the ground. The catboy rolled over and scrambled to their feet in a heartbeat; their cheeks flushed with obvious embarrassment as they fixed their glasses.

“I’m so, so sorry,” they babbled before Karl could ask any further questions. “I’m Landia— they/them, uh, I didn’t realize anyone lived here! I was readin’ the books, and then I guess I lost track of time and fell asleep and _please_ don’t be mad I’m sorry—“

Karl held up his hands and they cut themself off. “You just surprised me,” he explained. “I’m Karl Jacobs, and this is my library. What brings you to Kinoko Kingdom?”

Landia shuffled their feet. Or… paws, more accurately. That explains the lack of shoes, Karl supposed. “I’m new to the server,” they explained. “I was lookin’ for somewhere to start buildin’ a place, and found this place— Kinoko?” They tilted their head, and their somewhat oversized cat ears flopped to the side with the motion. Karl nodded. “Kinoko! I found Kinoko and was lookin’ around it, and libraries are pretty cool—“

A possibility came to mind, and Karl’s eyebrows pinched together as he looked them over. “You were exploring the library— You didn’t find anything hidden, did you?”

Their completely clueless expression was all the reassurance he needed, but their verbal reply certainly didn’t hurt. “Uh, no? I was just down in this part of it. I didn’t take anythin’, either,” they added. “Not a fan of griefin’.” Their voice dropped into a near-whisper as they interlocked their index fingers in a nervous tic. “…Can I stay?”

Could he trust them? Karl hesitated. New members of the server were always a wildcard. Either they’d only be around for a short amount, or they’d bring about more trouble. He’d founded Kinoko to get away from all of that— away from the Egg, away from the politics, away from Dream. Was he really about to invite chaos into his home when he was still getting set up?

…Still, this was a teenager. Minors didn’t have the best track record of staying untraumatized on the SMP. Asides from Purpled, but Purpled kept away from things. Karl realized with a small amount of dread that he was now potentially responsible for this anime-coded child.

“Okay,” he said. Landia’s eyes lit up a warm orange— did they seriously have mood ring eyes? Was this really what he was looking at right now? Karl shook his head. “On one condition,” he said before their enthusiasm could get out of hand. “You need to help me look after the library.”

If it was possible for Landia to explode into sparkles, Karl was pretty sure they would’ve right then and there. That wide of a grin certainly had to hurt.

* * *

“Karl?” Sapnap’s voice echoed through the library. Karl sat his book aside and took the stairs two at a time with a wide smile. His smile faltered as Sapnap continued talking: “Why’s there a kid here?”

“I live here,” Landia said with an undercurrent of annoyance. Sure enough, Landia was perched gargoyle-style on one of the shelves and eyeing Sapnap, who looked more bemused than angry. Judging by their tail twitching and their ears being laid back to nearly blend in with their hair, Landia was on edge; Karl was gonna have to intervene, fast.

“We have a neighbour!” Karl announced. Sapnap looked over his shoulder at him with a raised eyebrow. Landia relaxed their posture as soon as the hunter’s gaze was off of them. “This is Landia. They’re new to the SMP, and they wanted to join Kinoko Kingdom.”

Sapnap hummed in acknowledgement. Behind him, Landia dismounted from their perch with less than grace. “That’s cool,” he said after some thought. “I didn’t know we had another new player.”

“…Another?” How much had Karl missed out on?

Sapnap noticed his look of confusion, but misunderstood the exact cause of it. “Yeah, they must’ve joined with one of the others.” He snapped his fingers, then refocused his attention on Landia; the hybrid’s fur, including their messy hair, floofed up as Sapnap addressed them. “Who’d you join with?”

“Uh—“ Landia fumbled with their words. “L- Leonaut? Mathonwys? He’s my brother.” The name wasn’t familiar to Karl, but Sapnap nodded. Landia smoothed down their hair into something more lightly ruffled rather than looking like they’d been caught in a windstorm, and gave the two of them a lopsided grin. “I haven’t been here all too long, but Karl’s been lettin’ me stay here!”

Sapnap looked at Karl. Karl shrugged. “They’ve been helping,” he told him. “They’re… they’re good company.”

“Mm.” Sapnap scratched the back of his head, then copied Karl’s shrug. “Alright.” A gentle silence settled over the library as Sapnap unloaded his inventory into a chest; Karl kept an eye on Landia as the catboy looked Sapnap over with a cautious expression. If Sapnap knew he was being stared at, he didn’t seem all too fussed about it.

Karl must’ve spaced out for a moment. He jolted in surprise as something tugged on his sleeve; Lan was looking up at him, nervous around the edges but nowhere near as strained as they’d been on their first meeting. “Who’s this guy?” they mumbled, quiet enough that Karl had to lean in and strain to hear as they repeated the question. “Who is he?”

Oh, right, Landia was new to the server. Even though that’d just come up, the exact meaning of it had somehow slipped his mind. Karl chuckled. “That’s Sapnap,” he explained. Sapnap glanced up at his name. “He’s not as scary when you get to know him.”

“People think I’m scary?”

Karl pressed a sleeve to his mouth to stifle his laughter at Sapnap’s kicked puppy expression. “Maybe scary’s the wrong word,” he amended. “You’re, uh… Well, you have a sword, for one.”

“Lots of people have swords.” Karl didn’t bother correcting Sapnap on the fact that people usually don’t have their swords always in their off-hand or otherwise easily accessible for friendly stabbing. There wasn’t too much point in arguing over that. Sapnap was… Well, he was Sapnap.

Karl shook his head. “Nevermind. Anyway,” he patted Landia on the head, and was surprised to hear Landia mrrp. That was equal parts adorable and strange. “Sapnap’s a softie, don’t worry. He lives here with Quackity, George, and I.” Ah, right, they hadn’t met George and Quackity yet either. Landia’s expression was very much ‘no thoughts, head empty’. He’d have to fix that. “Sap, when’s Big Q coming over?”

Sapnap brightened. “He said he’d be over later.” Karl smiled in response to that news. He hadn’t gotten to spend much time with Quackity lately, and there was a chance that he’d get along with their freeloader. “Hey, has Landia gotten the server tour yet?”

Both Karl and Sapnap looked over at Landia. The catboy froze up, looking very much like a deer caught in headlights. “Um, no,” they said with a twinge of anxiety. “I just started explorin’ on my own— spawn’s kinda a mess…“

“Well, you know what time it is.” Sapnap grinned. “Let’s go sight-seeing.”

* * *

Right. Karl had forgotten how much of a mess the SMP was right now. At least Landia hadn’t been too keen on the blood vines; it had taken a lot of coaxing from both him and Sapnap to even get them to go down the Prime path with them. Karl liked to think that the three of them had fun despite that, though, and it was an excuse to refresh his own memory on the sights.

Quackity was waiting for them when they made it back to the library. Karl lit up and sprinted over as soon as he recognized the figure; Sapnap tagged along close behind, while Landia lurked around on the outskirts. Quackity grunted in surprise as Karl practically tackled him with a hug, then leaned over to stare at Landia with exaggerated curiosity as soon as he caught sight of the group’s newest member. “Hey, Karlos, who’s the short one?”

“Come on, Lan,” Sapnap called out. Landia jumped a little. “It’s just Quackity. He won’t bite.”

Quackity smacked him on the arm. “If anyone’s biting, it’s you.” Karl snorted with laughter, and Sapnap smirked before responding with another innuendo. Thankfully, the entire conversation soared over the nearby teen’s head like a paper airplane. After a few moments of deliberation, Landia scooted closer with their hands held close to their chest and ears perked.

Quackity made a strong first impression as always. Quackity also had his sweatshirt thrown back in his face as soon as he’d taken it off.

“They’re just jealous,” Quackity complained as he zipped his shirt back up. Karl was still trying to take in the fact that Landia could, apparently, hiss. Sapnap had stepped in as mediator and distracted Landia by dragging them off to show them Squid Lagoon; Karl really should’ve thought to warn them about that specific… _aspect_ of Quackity’s sense of humour ahead of time, now that he thought about it. Eh, no harm no foul. “Where’d you even find them?”

“They were just… here.” With that as a starting point, Karl recapped their meeting, omitting the part about the hidden library. Quackity frowned with slight suspicion.

“And you haven’t noticed anything _suspicious_ about them?” There was a hard edge to Quackity’s words. Karl was caught off guard by the sudden mood shift, but shook his head. “This is serious. We can’t just adopt every random kid you find.”

“They’re not adopted,” Karl objected. “They live here! They pay rent! —Well, sort of. They help with the library.” Quackity’s expression stayed suspicious. Karl expected him to continue arguing his side, whatever it was, but instead Quackity closed his eyes and exhaled through his teeth.

“Okay, Karlos.” His smile wasn’t fully sincere, but Karl could ask him about it later. If Quackity didn’t feel like opening up to him right now, that was fine. As tempting as it was to push him, it wouldn’t end well for either of them.

A high-pitched shriek split the air. Both Karl and Quackity reached for their weapons as they rushed to the library door; Karl’s heart hammered in his ears as he scanned the surroundings. That scream hadn’t sounded like Sapnap— was it Landia? Were they in danger? He tightened his grip on his sword’s hilt. If something happened to them… 

…Huh. Where exactly did these protective instincts come from?

A peal of familiar laughter defused the tension. Karl lowered his sword as he spotted Sapnap; the hunter was cracking up without much of a care, and after a few moments Karl recognized Landia next to him as the pair trekked back to the library. The delay in recognition wasn’t because of Karl’s memory, for once— the catboy had gotten splattered with ink, and his hair had gotten dyed a sticky black.

“So,” Sapnap said though his laughter, “Landia hates squids.”

Karl and Quackity looked at each other. Quackity started laughing first, then it spread to Karl. Landia made a face in distaste, but gave in once the ridiculous nature of the situation sank in for them as well.

* * *

How much time had it been since Landia moved in with them? Karl wasn’t sure. Time was… strange, for him. He was getting a bit more loose with his connection to present day; each day blurred into the next, and things he thought happened a couple days ago instead had happened _months_ ago. Sapnap and Quackity were sure to notice soon.

It’s fine. Each travel, he was getting closer and closer to finding the answers he needed. He just… had to keep doing this. He didn’t have a choice. If he wanted to save the server— save his family— he didn’t have a choice.

Karl’s head was swimming as he climbed the ladder leading out of his hidden library. The amount of effort it took to haul himself out and close the trapdoor behind him was draining; his eyes half-lidded, Karl lay on the floor and wondered if he would ever have a moment to rest. Probably not. He’d feel the pull again, and then he’d be launched across time to watch, to act, to record, in an endless cycle.

He wanted to sleep. Oh, honk, he wanted to sleep so bad. A groan leaked out of him and he shut his eyes tight. _Just one minute_ , he thought, each word taking an eternity to form in his brain. _Just…_

A soft gasp. Footsteps. Karl felt hands grab the fabric of his hoodie, felt movement, and then stopped feeling anything at all.

* * *

Karl groaned as he came to. At least this time he was on a soft bed instead of a hard floor. Someone must have found him, he realized with a pang of worry. What about the library? Had they seen it? What if— 

Someone short yet heavy crashed into him. Karl yelled in shock as arms tightly encircled him; still disoriented from his sudden collapse and sudden awakening, he squirmed in the unknown assailant’s grip until they let go and gave him a guilty look. Messy brown hair, glasses, mismatched eyes, cat ears— Landia.

“I’m sorry,” Landia said. “I— I got really worried when I found you, and Sapnap said this happens sometimes and I just need to wait til ya wake up, but I got worried—“ The rest of their words fell in a pile around Karl without him acknowledging them. _Sapnap knows?_ How many times had he worried his fiancés? Guilt welled up in him, and Karl looked away as he tried to get his bearings.

He was in his room at Kinoko’s library. He wasn’t sure where _else_ he’d be, but it was a welcome sight either way. Landia sat on his bed, ears flat against their skull and scrunched up into their jacket. Downstairs, he could hear Sapnap and Quackity talking. Probably about him. It wasn’t too far from evening, judging by the sky he could see out the window; Karl wasn’t sure how long he’d been out, and couldn’t find the words to ask. Everything felt distant, like he was far away from himself. It was unnerving.

“Got you cookies.” Landia’s voice broke through the fatigue. Karl blinked slowly as they held out the food item in question. “Um… sorry.”

His movements felt unnatural and not completely under his control, but Karl was able to take a cookie and start eating it anyway. Relief flitted across Landia’s face, and they gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m okay,” he told them after the second cookie was gone. “Really, I’m okay. This just… happens, sometimes.”

Landia was an open book. They frowned, eyes shifting to a cloudy grey, and Karl watched their tail swish back and forth as they contemplated arguing with him. “Okay,” they said, tone heavy with doubt. “I’ll… I’ll go tell Sap n’ Q. That you’re okay.”

“Thanks.”

Karl watched, brain fuzzy, as Landia slinked out of his room and headed downstairs. Once they were out of sight, he flopped back down against his pillow and groaned.

He wasn’t going to be able to keep this secret forever. Not if he kept this up. Landia was surely seeing through him, and judging by their hinting so was Sapnap at bare minimum. …That was fine. Hopefully he’d see this through to the end before things got too bad.

…Hopefully.

* * *

Karl had no idea who this person was.

Their name was Landia— he remembered that. They were friendly with Sapnap and Quackity, and friendly to him, and Karl had absolutely no idea who they were. There was a protective warmth in his chest when he looked at them, the feeling of _I care about you_ , but all of the memories propping that emotion up were nowhere to be found when he tried looking. Were they a… sibling? No, that didn’t feel right.

If they knew he was staring at them, they didn’t seem to care. Landia mumbled the lyrics to a song under their breath— _I’ve found you’re never gonna stop the merry-go-round / So try and like vertigo_ — in a casual loop as they jotted something down in a book; the shelf next to them was half-filled, and Karl couldn’t make out the names on the covers of the books from where he stood.

“ _Mirages still exist,_ ” Landia half-sang, “ _That’s how I know it’s real…_ “ They chewed on their quill, then sputtered and made a face as they discovered that feathers weren’t quite as good to do that with as fountain pens. Karl stifled a snicker. They scrunched their face up like they’d just bit into a lemon, or were a cat that’d smelled something utterly horrible; after a few minutes of struggling to work past that awful experience, they settled on closing the book and sliding it into place alongside the others on the shelf.

Their eyes passed over Karl as they turned. Landia froze, then withdrew their hand from the shelf and waved frantically. “Karl!” they squealed. “You’re back! Hi!”

“Back?” Karl blinked. Did they know—?

“Sorry ‘bout the mess,” they rambled without any acknowledgement of his surprise. Karl glanced at the scattered books and papers near Landia’s chair; apparently that was unusual, if they were apologizing for it. “I, uh— I noticed you don’t remember stuff too good, and you’re always tellin’ these super cool stories, so I thought… I could try and, uh, write down stuff that happens! Here! In story form!” They flapped one hand, halfway between excited and nervous, as they spoke. “I asked around a lot about what stuff people remembered, and— it’s not the best, but it’s a start!”

Memories flickered— an underwater city, rooms and rooms of information that felt wrong in his gut, people he knew and befriended and fought and loved reduced to bullet points put through a hundred years of mistranslation. Was this a Mizu in the making, or the solution to stopping that future from coming to pass? Karl shook his head to clear his thoughts. Fully aware of the anxious glimmer in Landia’s eyes, he smiled at them as he crossed the distance between them. Landia closed their eyes as he placed a hand on their head and ruffled their hair; Karl worried for a moment that it might be too weird a gesture, but Landia leaned into the contact.

“That’s awesome!” Karl told them. He meant it, too— judging by the number of books on the shelves, Landia had been at work on this for a while. He’d have to read through them later. Maybe they’d help fill in the gaps he was tripping over. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, dad.”

Karl’s eyes widened. Landia’s own eyes snapped open and they paled as blood drained from their face. Several trains of thought raced through Karl’s mind, crashed into each other, and caused a wreck that’d halt traffic for a week. Was he a father? Was Landia his child and he just didn’t remember?! _Who was the other parent?!_ Sure, they looked like him if you squinted, but— they were part cat! And he was a pile of colourful polygons masquerading as a human being! How the honk did he have a— 

“FUCK,” Landia swore. They clapped their paws over their mouth; colour rushed back into their face as they flushed, and they avoided looking at Karl as they continued dropping several expletives. “I’m so sorry— Oh Prime, this is so awkward, I— I’m sorry, I probably made you uncomfortable, I didn’t mean to—“

“Huh?” Karl struggled to parse the onslaught of words Landia was flinging at him. Okay, so… they _weren’t_ his son. Not biologically, at least. That was a relief. He would’ve felt like a real turd if he’d managed to forget that. With that established, chains started to re-link and Karl grasped at what little context his brain gave him. This was Landia. They weren’t his son, and they lived in his house. They got along with Sapnap and Quackity, and he cared about them an awful lot.

…And they’d just called him their dad, and he wasn’t entirely sure he minded it.

“I wonder if this is how Philza Minecraft feels,” Karl mumbled. Landia stared at him. Choosing not to follow up on that comment, Karl resumed patting them on the head. “I’m not mad,” he said before they could ask. “Just… confused? I’m confused.”

“Sorry,” Landia mumbled. They pushed his hand away, and Karl let it drop to rest by his side. “I didn’t… Just— forget I said anythin’.”

Karl shook his head, and Landia wilted. “I’m not mad,” he repeated. “Do you actually, uh…?”

Landia didn’t respond for a good few minutes. Karl waited as they sat scrunched up, eyes just barely visible over their arms as they rested them on their knees. Finally, they looked up at him. “You, Sap, n’ Q have been real good to me since I got here,” they mumbled. “It’s… A lotta stuff on the server’s a real mess, but I like stayin’ here with you guys. …it feels safe.”

Karl sat down on the arm of the chair. Landia shuffled to the side to give him room, only for Karl to loop his arms around their shoulders and pull them back over into a hug. They stiffened, and Karl half-expected them to fight against it only for them to instead relax and lean against him.

“So, I guess I’m a father now,” Karl joked right as Sapnap walked in. Landia shrieked, elbowed Karl in the gut, and launched out of the chair like they were springloaded. Sapnap stared, bewildered, as the brown-and-black blur rocketed past him. “…Orrrrrr not.”

Sapnap looked over his shoulder, then raised his eyebrows at Karl. “Karl,” he said, expression and voice serious save for the slightest crack of humour he could barely hold at bay, “is there something you need to tell me?”

Karl blanched. “…No?”

* * *

“Hey, kid.” Sapnap ruffled Landia’s hair as he walked by. Landia swatted at him, and Sapnap couldn’t hide his grin. Karl rolled his eyes, a bit overdramatic, as he paged through the book in his lap. Landia’s handwriting left a bit to be desired, but he _could_ read it and that’s what mattered right now.

They’d gotten a few things wrong, here and there, but the fact that Karl could recognize the errors in the first place was a good sign. He scrawled notes in the margins to correct the inconsistencies, and meanwhile the author of the journals got tormented by the fiancé who thought Landia’s occasional slip-ups were hilarious.

“I’m gonna run away,” Landia grumbled. “I’m gonna run off into the sunset and you’ll never see me again and I’ll make my own town and it’ll be way cooler.” Quackity shook his head. “I’m gonna call it Kaylandia and I’m gonna make a cool flag and you’re not gonna be allowed in it.”

“That’s a shame.” Sapnap picked up his sword, sat down, and started cleaning it. “I’ll just have to burn it.”

“Don’t bully your kid,” Quackity warned him.

“ _My_ kid?” Sapnap feigned alarm. “They’re your kid, too!”

Landia buried their face in their paws and groaned loudly. “You’ve gotta be honkin’ kiddin’ me.”

Karl felt two pairs of eyes on him, and looked up to see both Sapnap and Quackity looking at him. As soon as he made eye contact with them, they looked at each other and nodded. “Yeah,” Quackity said in answer to Sapnap’s unspoken question, “they take after Karlos.”

Despite their played-up embarrassment, Karl could tell from Landia’s body language that they weren’t actually upset. Even with things getting more and more dire on the server— even with the inevitable threat he was having to stare down each time he traveled and found himself in the bleached-white castle— there was always this.

Somehow, Karl Jacobs had ended up with a family.

He hoped he wouldn’t forget them.


End file.
